"Look, I know what you are thinking: basket, dress, eggs. It seems simple but to pull them off successfully you need to know what you are doing. Come with me as I show my parents how it is done."
"First, pick a location where they didn't just drop 30,000 eggs from a helicopter and the easter bunny isn't riding around on a golf cart . . . unfortunately the parents didn't consult me on the location . . ."
"Not to worry. I know how to handle myself in this type of situation."
"As always Dad likes to start with some instruction.
Step 1) Find an egg."
"Step 2) put it in the basket."
"Egg. Basket. Got it."
"Dad seriously, I got it. I'm not 12 months old anymore."
"I have innate egg gathering abilities."
"Now what were those steps again?"
"Pick up eggs?"
"Suck on eggs?"
"Drop basket on the ground because I can only hold so many things at once?!"
"I love my Mommy, she's the best."
"After eggs we went to the Cracker Barrel. I ordered a tasteful bowl of carrots & bought a bookmark. Then I picked out a nice chair on the porch."
"I don't even remember what this was about. It had been a long day, okay. Next picture."
"See, I was happy again in 2 seconds but it was definitely time to call it a day."
"I hope you didn't think we were done. Who goes to just one Easter egg hunt a year??? Not Ma Ma & Da Da apparently. I think they were imagining a quaint 16th century stroll through royal gardens to look for eggs with other toddlers in their Sunday best instead of eating the dust of several thousand kids amped up on Easter candy and urged on by a radio announcer to get all the eggs possible."
"Mom found us a nicer hunting ground at a local church."
"It was definitely nicer but I didn't see any eggs."
"Eggs anyone?"
"I had to wait until the announcer said go."
"Is it time yet?"
"I may need a bigger basket."
"What's so special about eggs anyway?"
"I am pretty picture perfect, aren't I?"
