Friday, November 18, 2011

Time Is On My Side...Or Is It?

Maybe the Rolling Stones had it all wrong. I've been thinking a lot about time lately. When you have young children, everyone and I mean everyone (including strangers on the street) tell you how fast the time flies. How it feels like their 16 year olds were 16 months just yesterday, etc., etc. For me, right now, it doesn't necessary feel like time is flying, not at all really. It does feel like time is more definite than it used to be. Before we had kids, Wes and I might go on a vacation or go to an amazing restaurant or go kayaking and have a blast. We'd leave and say, "Wow, lets do that again sometime!" And that was completely possible, we could go and do those things again and have a pretty similar experience.

The thing with kids is that you can never really expect the same experience again. Whatever you do with them, its close to being the last time they'll do it in that way. They change so much, so quickly. It's never the same experience and you kind of mourn the loss of each phase. A year used to be nothing to me, Wes and I don't change much in a year. Scarlett changes in a month! She does more, says more, comprehends more everyday. Suddenly it feels like time marches on so strongly, so resolutely, so unforgivingly. Sometimes, I just want to say, Hey, wait a minute! I love her how she is right now! Can't I just hit a pause button and enjoy how when Wes is taking her to bed she waves good-bye so zealously to me all the way up the stairs and around the corner until she can't see me anymore or can't I rewind to when she was three months old and we'd carry her around in the Ergo and she'd sleep so peacefully and soundly right on our chests? Already, I can barely remember what that little roly poly body felt like against mine.

Absolutely, the last 20 months have not flown by, but they're done, they're over and I can feel it. Just look at Scarlett and see what 20 months of time passing by really looks like.